Month: February 2020 Page 1 of 2

the amazing device!

Since my archery adventures are shooting towards the stars, I have been scouring the internet like Leonard Nimoy from “In search of…” for additional add-ons and devices to help with my newfound passion. When I first watched Star Trek on a color tv in the early 60’s, I was impressed with Leonard Nimoy’s rendition of “Spock”. Plus with which, his knowledge and grasp of technology was attractive. While Kirk, played by William Shatner was the sexy, devil may care playboy of outer space, “Spock” was the brains.

I was drawn to the mystique of electronic marvels and gadgets that transcended the current level of scientific knowledge. Of course, secretly, the government had all these devices being built from the downed spacecraft at Area’s 50-52. Yep, even the area they don’t think we know about. Just saying. When the replicator first debuted on “Star Trek: The Next Generation” and to be fair it had been written about by scifi authors for generations, the term “Replicator” was coined and made popular by Star Trek.

I was in awe. How was this possible? As a kid, it just was. Fact. This  “Replicator” existed. It wasn’t until I got much older that I learned our level of knowledge had not reached the point that was being portrayed by very believable actors. Still, I dreamed. Some of the devices used on Star Trek and other science fiction venues, are slowly coming to pass. For example, the “tricorder”. You can buy a handheld ultrasound for personal use. IN the works – are various health electronics that attach to your cell phone that give an instant diagnosis of your bodies various markers.  The list goes on.

I was slow to understand and finally get involved in 3D printing. The capabilities of a replicator, bring with it the promise of matter to energy transformations, where anything could be “replicated”, from food to additional parts for various repairs etc. 3D printers are a step in that direction. While searching the internet for an “arrow clip” that would hold my arrows in my bow case, I realized I could 3D print them, instead of buying. And also because my search was turning up very few options. I wondered if I could make them on my 3D printer? Perhaps, instead of reinventing the wheel, maybe someone already had.

YES! Someone had and they were just what the doctor from Star Trek prescribed. “I’m a doctor, not an engineer” Bones would say to Kirk. I downloaded the files, hooked up my printer and after a few misfires, got started on another adventure into the future of home repair. Why buy common items when you can make them at home? Of course there always be companies that form to sell you the files for a price. And there will always be those that design and make stuff, just because. For now I am using “thingverse” Website which has freely downloadable printer objects. Some are very useful and others are very specific. Instead of spending hours and days designing an arrow clip, I found one made by a fellow archery enthusiast. Here’s my printer and one of the clips I printed below.

Simply amazing…

practicing for the zombiepocalypse

Today started out as any other day. With the exception of the preparations for the coming zombieapocalypse. Maybe. I don’t know for sure. But if there is one, I want to be prepared. And to coin a recent phrase I heard “I will be prepared so you don’t have too”. Knowing I’m on the job makes you feel safe, right?

One arrow got away from me, mostly because the zombie was messing with my head. Looking at me. Daring me. Confusing me. In the end though, during the Zen moment when the arrow and me become one with the universe, I wiped the smile right off it’s face! Take that – zombie zombie bo bombie, banana-fanna bo-fombie, fee-fi-mo-mombie, zom-bie. (just saying…little happy dance!)

Tonight I will finally be able to rest, knowing my training is progressing quite well. Or indoctrination. Or brainwashing. That’s what the leader keeps saying, during the photo-strobe while I’m strapped to a chair in a dark room watching images of zombies flash on the projector screen. Eek!

Hope you sleep well this evening. I might wait a bit until the tick under my right eye settles down…

Bonus Music Section: I’m a Zombie

I'm a zombie
(c) 2015 carl jasper hoffman : jascar music


I woke up this morning alone in my bed
I smelled something awful, I smelled something dead
I looked in the mirror my head was a mess
my clothes were all torn I did not look my best


I'm a zombie, you can't tell me otherwise
I'll show you, I'll poke out my eyes
I'm a zombie, this isn't a clever disguise
just pull on my arm for a big surprise


I tried to eat breakfast but something was wrong
my stomach was craving a nice bloody blond
I went to the market to get a raw steak
then some sheriff shot me, I could not catch a break



when the sun is going down
you need to hide, to not be found
I'm just another  pretty face
that wants to eat you, without a plate

if there's anything you've learned
set me on fire and watch me burn
or I'll come right back for you
a little crispy through and through



let’s agree to disagree

This. Title. Sucks.

Yep. What’s it called again? Something like a prehistoric animal during the dinosaur age I believe.

Ah, yes, a platitude.

And just what is a plati-whatever?

Platitudes look like meaningful statements on the surface. But plati’s offer very little help or compassion when offered.  Let’s take some following examples and examine them a bit.

Every cloud has a silver lining.

What if the cloud doesn’t have a silver lining? How do you explain it then? How about “I think if we look closer, there’s a possible solution ahead”

There’s no I in Team

There’s also no I in we or us or them. How about instead saying “Let’s work together and try to make this happen…”

Good things come to those who wait

So, if I wait, good things will happen? Show me. Geesh. This reminds me of Abrahams Hicks. Although that is prefaced with something called “the Laws of Attraction”. I have read excerpts from another book by Lynn Grabhorn called “Excuse me, your life is Waiting” which explains the laws much better and how the above statement is meaningless. But really “good things come to those who wait?” I’ve been waiting my entire life and still wake up waiting. Time for change, right?

Don’t be sad because it’s over, be glad that it happened

This is one I have used before. And sometimes it has deep meaning when said in the right context. But what about the wrong context? What if there was a 5 car pile up on the interstate and multiple fatalities?  Better not to say this one at all.

When I use them, which I do occasionally, mostly because there’s millions of them and eventually they just come out, I try and take a step back. Because I don’t want to be that person. I want my interactions with people to be real. Not fake. I was reminded of a saying today…

“Don’t judge me because I’m quiet. No one plans a murder out loud.” –Darynda Jones

Which is not a plati-whatever. This one falls under plati-pre-meditation. (smile)

Enjoy your weekend. Tomorrow I am shooting my new compound bow. Yippee! Yi yo kai yay or something like that…although I am praying for the people that walk slowly by the targets. Good thing I’m not a great shot. Yet.



Yep. A somewhat mythical creature that drains the blood from it’s victims, walks on hind legs, has claws for hands and roams the night with almost x-ray vision. Recently, it occurred to me that I had in my possession, the offspring of a chupacabra mixed with the devil. Or devils son. Or demon. Bad spirit maybe? Anyways, evil in general.

This chupacabra roams the halls of my home when I leave for work. Mostly, I pray the house will still be standing upon my return. Sometimes, my prayers are answered. Does that mean there is a god? Or just a trickster leading me into temptation?

When I go to bed at night, all my doors are locked while the chupacabra sleeps below me. I keep various food items as offerings next to my bed to prevent being eaten before the morning comes. Occasionally they aren’t enough. So I upped my chances by including a spray bottle of holy water, blessed by a priest, a monk, a nun and an exorcist, placed strategically next to where I keep the offerings.


I thought you might, so I snapped a photo to post here for proof of life. Never have been one to force my beliefs on another person, so makeup your own mind after seeing the evidence below…

I can only hope that some miracle takes place in the upcoming weeks and months before I become just another tasty treat for the

“CHUPACABRA” …(maniacal laughter trailing into the distance)


light of my life


Spoiler Alert! – This is a movie currently playing on Amazon Prime.

I just may give away some of the story in the following paragraphs. Or not. The movie starts out slows but steady with a father talking to his daughter in what feels like a tent or other outdoor structure. He’s making up a story about Noah’s Ark which he renames Art’s Ark during the telling. At first I was wondering if there was a point to this. A strange way to begin a movie for sure, although in hindsight, it fits perfectly.

The story is fun and silly and has some moral implications. As the story unfolds you begin to realize there is much more going on. In fact, as the movie progresses and the plot becomes more apparent, the movie turns into a compelling drama of a father devoted to raising his daughter in a world, where a devastating virus nearly wipes out the entire female population on earth.

Well, you can guess from there the hardships endured while disguising his daughter as a young boy to prevent other men from taking her away. Some of the men in the movie are played as decent ones, while most are plain jerks. As the the relationship unfolds on screen, the characters become larger than life, as the young girl grows stronger from her dads tutelage and protection.

I loved this story. Slowly told, very little in the way of special effects, dialog that seemed just right, I found myself sucked into this apocalyptic future world. While some women had natural immunity to the virus, along with the fathers daughter, most had perished. There were some parts that felt forced on me. Again, once past those the movie flowed quite well.

This movie gets an “I am a sap” rating for the warmth and love between father and daughter.

valentines day…or as I always say… “valentimes”

Yes, I know. Valentines has come and gone…so now we have to wait another whole year again! But I was thinking, wouldn’t it be cool to have another chance to watch a romantic video? Hmmm?

I thought you would agree. Here’s the video:


gardens and fairyland…

Most people think of gardens as various plants, trees, bushes and the occasional water fountain. And they would be spot on. But today, a wonderful journey took me to a magical land, neither here nor there. Everywhere. Yes, I’m talking about “Fairyland”.

A place where elves roam and leprechauns dance, where castles of ceramic and leaves of gold proudly prance! Hope begins and grows, taunting the doubters to say otherwise. And if they doubt, their bellies will grow, a tail will sprout and no witches spells can remove the curse. So, there’s that.

While on the way to work today, I stopped at Hope Fairyland Gardens. Where only the invited are allowed to witness the hard working fairies complete mysterious tasks – while spreading love to all.

I secretly photographed the fairies in various poses after first asking if it was OK. I know, not so secret. But hey, it’s my story.

The Fairies were being mischievous in the last photo I took. They placed a rainbow on the photo where there was none beforehand. Tricksters they are and quite magical as well.



A completely new post! I mean, this isn’t an old post because I am just now writing it for the first time. The first time. Yep. Aaannnddd…I’m doing something completely different for the first time. The first time!

Sayings you might find on a tombstone. OK. You didn’t see that one coming or maybe you did. No prizes are being awarded either way even if you did. Why? Eh, because. Because sunspots. Or something.

And here we gooooooo…..:

:”Hey guys, I think this mushroom I found is edible” -tombstone (cj)

:She always said her feet were killing her, but nobody believed her.
~Virginia tombstone

:Raised four beautiful daughters with only one bathroom – and still there was love  -tombstone

:”We finally found a place to park in Santa Monica” -tombstone

:My new healthcare deductible was too high -tombstone

:Dude, that really WAS a killer wave! -tombstone

I want my tombstone to say, “Died from not forwarding that email to 10 people in the next 5 minutes.”



Snarky? WTF? Who would even write such a word…(me!) And what does it even mean? And would you even say something that had snarky implications? Let’s take some examples:

-I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

-Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose.

-Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.

-You say I’m a bitch like it’s a bad thing.

And the list goes on. Mostly snarky sayings are meant to be humor at first but can be hurtful if applied in the wrong way at the wrong time. When people use snarky sayings to jest with a friend or co-worker, without being condescending or critical, snarky comments can be a way to connect with another. To show support and love. When used for evil and to express something you are spitefully feeling about that person, you are going to hell.

Yep. So, don’t be trying any snarky remarks on me.

In fact, Earth is full. Go home.



Recently, I went hiking, (I know, how unusual, huh?) and while walking back to the car, stopped at this tree that had been almost burned to the ground. In fact the whole hiking area was pretty much torched from the recent fires in Porter Ranch. This was and still can be one of the better hikes in the San Fernando Valley. With a stream that runs the length of the park called “Limekiln Canyon trail”, the greens of life overflow in abundance, from the trees to bushes, grasses and some exotic plants, it’s a place of calming beauty, tranquil river whispers, birds that chant “hello“.

Since the fire, most of that is now gone. Yes, there is the beginning of life returning to this once majestic hideaway nestled among the mountain ranges of San Fernando Valley. And yes, it will return once again, becoming a favorite among hikers and casual strollers looking to escape the tedium of the concrete forest known as “the neighborhood”.

What gives me this impetuous knowledge that all will be well again? What possibly could be my motivation towards such a positive outlook? Well, since you didn’t ask, I’m gonna tell you! And show you.

On the way back to the car, I stopped and snapped this photo of a completely burned tree, with new growth in defiance of the devastation that had transpired in it’s home. Proudly sprouting new limbs where none had been. Challenging the fire to once again, another showdown. Of course hopefully not anytime soon.

To me, this is life everywhere. When something seems impossible or a part of your life becomes almost unbearable and the odds that things will turn in your favor seem slim to nothing at all – remember this lone tree. Not taking no for an answer. Not giving up. Not giving in to the negativity and destruction that surrounds it.

You can start from the ashes once again. Whether it’s something simple or something overpowering, take now to imagine what your life can be like. What you want to experience. To learn. To love.

And then…?


Page 1 of 2

Powered by WordPress & Theme by Anders Norén