Yep. A somewhat mythical creature that drains the blood from it’s victims, walks on hind legs, has claws for hands and roams the night with almost x-ray vision. Recently, it occurred to me that I had in my possession, the offspring of a chupacabra mixed with the devil. Or devils son. Or demon. Bad spirit maybe? Anyways, evil in general.

This chupacabra roams the halls of my home when I leave for work. Mostly, I pray the house will still be standing upon my return. Sometimes, my prayers are answered. Does that mean there is a god? Or just a trickster leading me into temptation?

When I go to bed at night, all my doors are locked while the chupacabra sleeps below me. I keep various food items as offerings next to my bed to prevent being eaten before the morning comes. Occasionally they aren’t enough. So I upped my chances by including a spray bottle of holy water, blessed by a priest, a monk, a nun and an exorcist, placed strategically next to where I keep the offerings.


I thought you might, so I snapped a photo to post here for proof of life. Never have been one to force my beliefs on another person, so makeup your own mind after seeing the evidence below…

I can only hope that some miracle takes place in the upcoming weeks and months before I become just another tasty treat for the

“CHUPACABRA” …(maniacal laughter trailing into the distance)