Today started out as any other day. With the exception of the preparations for the coming zombieapocalypse. Maybe. I don’t know for sure. But if there is one, I want to be prepared. And to coin a recent phrase I heard “I will be prepared so you don’t have too”. Knowing I’m on the job makes you feel safe, right?

One arrow got away from me, mostly because the zombie was messing with my head. Looking at me. Daring me. Confusing me. In the end though, during the Zen moment when the arrow and me become one with the universe, I wiped the smile right off it’s face! Take that – zombie zombie bo bombie, banana-fanna bo-fombie, fee-fi-mo-mombie, zom-bie. (just saying…little happy dance!)

Tonight I will finally be able to rest, knowing my training is progressing quite well. Or indoctrination. Or brainwashing. That’s what the leader keeps saying, during the photo-strobe while I’m strapped to a chair in a dark room watching images of zombies flash on the projector screen. Eek!

Hope you sleep well this evening. I might wait a bit until the tick under my right eye settles down…

Bonus Music Section: I’m a Zombie

I'm a zombie
(c) 2015 carl jasper hoffman : jascar music


I woke up this morning alone in my bed
I smelled something awful, I smelled something dead
I looked in the mirror my head was a mess
my clothes were all torn I did not look my best


I'm a zombie, you can't tell me otherwise
I'll show you, I'll poke out my eyes
I'm a zombie, this isn't a clever disguise
just pull on my arm for a big surprise


I tried to eat breakfast but something was wrong
my stomach was craving a nice bloody blond
I went to the market to get a raw steak
then some sheriff shot me, I could not catch a break



when the sun is going down
you need to hide, to not be found
I'm just another  pretty face
that wants to eat you, without a plate

if there's anything you've learned
set me on fire and watch me burn
or I'll come right back for you
a little crispy through and through