Category: loves Page 1 of 2

Conflict Types	Examples
Person vs Person	Luke Skywalker fighting Darth Vader and Imperial forces
Person vs Self	“A Separate Peace” Gene struggles inside with guilt over Phineas’ accident
Person vs Machine	Just getting the printer to work with your computer
Person vs Supernatural	ghosts, monsters, unexplained forces etc

The above shows a few examples of different types of conflict. Indeed, it can be sometimes overwhelming navigating through the emotions and memories that conflict can bring up. Becoming catatonic, seemingly unproductive during the event, leaves you more mentally aware once exiting that state. Huh? Yes. You’re body and mind shut down to a point where your subconscious takes steps to understand what has transpired. I am not speaking for everyone, only myself.

Some person vs self issues with me can be so intense, I literally shutdown. Exactly what are these issues? Well, that’s just it in a nutshell. I don’t always know. I guess a lot. Occasionally, I get it right. Like, I’m at a crossroads about whether to sell or rent out my house here and move to Arizona. That’s a biggie. On the other hand, I wonder what color to paint my kitchen during the remodeling I’m starting. Not a biggie. But both can render me motionless.

Relationship issues do the same to me. They are also powerful examples of various types of conflict. Person vs Person. Person vs Self. And sometimes even Person vs Supernatural. AND SOON, Person vs Machine as the life like robotic sex doll industry gathers steam. Me? I’m mostly the Person vs Self in a relationship. I am learning to forgive myself and understand the internal struggles I have acquired throughout the years. And to be sure, there are times when I curl up into a ball wondering if everything I am going through in life, is worth the trouble. By that I mean worth even contemplating. Some conflicts have no immediate answers or solutions so spending the time on fruitless outcomes – just becomes a black hole.

One thing for sure, at least for me, is the time I spend in the fetal position does a world of good. Getting up afterwards, making a breakfast of sourdough toast with various toppings like avocado, sauerkraut and miyoko butter, lifts my spirits once again. I know that wherever my path takes me, I’ll be there – in mind, body and spirit. Loving each day. Why? Always the same answer this one has. (spoken like Yoda from Star Wars)

Because I have faith.

I was recently told I avoid conflict. My reply? Yes. Perhaps it’s just easier than hashing things out or maybe the conflict monster will get you by saying “conflict” 3 times while turning counterclockwise in front of a mirror. Not being superstitious rules out one of the thoughts above. But which one?

Is there any doubt that given a choice most would walk away or run in the other direction? Me myself and I argue all the time. Like now fer instance. But how can you really argue with yourself? You already know what the other persona is going to say and do.

Living a conflict free life is pretty tough almost anywhere in the world. In Krazyfornia, just about impossible. What kinds of conflict are there? Well, let’s play “name that conflict” for a moment here.

Person vs Person

Person vs Supernatual

Person vs Self

Person vs Machine

My favorite is person vs self. More on that in PART II of conlict…

We will open the book, It’s pages are blank,

We are going to put words in them ourselves,

The book is called Opportunity and it’s best

chapter…?

New Years Day.

RECAP:

But something was amiss. Where was the ghost of disappointment past? Don’t these things always happen in threes?

In addition, the air was brisk and cold, icicles began forming with each and every step that was taken. Where was the ghost of disappointment past? Helping some other souls? On vacation in Bora Bora? Or something less sinister like out to dinner with other ghosts eating ghost food. Although that also raises the question as to what constitutes ghost food and is it even healthy?

And then there was a total moment of utter clarity. Perhaps there was to be no disappointment ghost of the past. In fact, as I looked around me, the company I had, the brightly colored homes bursting with various Christmas light shows and cheer, a moment shared, a meal planned, the first few episodes of “Lost in Space” season II enjoyed under a toasty blanket. Just perhaps there wasn’t to be a ghost of disappointment past. Perhaps not even a small ghost. And then (smile), I completely figured it out.

It was Because we had the three “L’s”. And when the 3-L’s appear , ghosts simply cease to exist.

Life, Love and Laughter.

I started writing this post as a blow by blow account of the evening. After reading the first few paragraphs over a few times, I realized the direction of the post had taken a wrong turn. Was the evening great? You betcha. And yet there is always another story to tell when recounting an evenings events. A story that involves not only the physical aspects, but also the emotional ones as well. Add some supernatural phenomena and you have all the makings of a classic.

Our story begins at 6pm exactly. The rain, which had been expected, had bypassed the valley, leaving scattered and lonely clouds to show the storms passing. The air very frosty, so I practiced saying “I see dead people” over and over because it was so cool! The plan was to walk the northridge mall and people watch as they were buying last minute gifts. Alas, this was not to be. The mall had closed for xmas eve at 6pm sharp. It was then we encountered the first supernatural event of the evening. The ghost of disappointment present. (cue eerie chains rattling and spooky sounds)

“You cannot roam the pathways of the mall this eve. Closed we be while others grieve.” the ghost of disappointment present said eerily.

“OK, ” we replied. “Do you have any other suggestions Mr. ghost of disappointment present?

“Thank you for asking! I was a tour guide before passing into the spirit world. It feels good to share some ideas every now and then. How about going to Target or Walmart? There should be quite a few last minute shoppers there” The GDP said.

This time, however, we were not going to be denied! We consulted with the ghost of disappointment future “google” before heading to either one.

Target was open, google said! Yay! Happily, we headed over the hill to the closest Target. Arriving, we noticed throngs of people bustling about, purchasing last minute gifts before heading off somewhere, somewhere important they had to be. But something was amiss. Where was the ghost of disappointment past? Don’t these things always happen in threes?

Stay tuned for part two, too tired for now to continue…

I was retelling a story the other night, which I’m going to share here today. The names will be changed to protect the guilty of course. No graphic warnings needed as there will be no photos associated with this post.

The following true events recounted as told to me by Carlj:

Carlj: About 30 years ago Ceej, I had a relationship that I considered very loving and good. The highs were amazing and the lows sometimes devastating. Overall, the chemistry was great. At least until a few “turning points”. I didn’t even know what turning points were until 30 plus years later. By then the damage to the relationship had already occurred.

And unknown to me as well, I had the power to change the events for the better. Did I? Did I even try? Nope. In fact, I doubled down on my spoken thoughts and concerns. OK, I get it, you’re asking me to get to the point? Or turning point in this case…

My girl Nancy called me in the wee hours of the morning, during the middle of the week and said, “Come over and service me, right now. You’re my man and I need you”

WOW! Any normal male wouldn’t even take the time to gracefully hangup the phone. To be sure, I was a normal male, but something prompted me to say, “I have work in the morning. Are you crazy?” Or something to that effect.

Fast forward to the second event. Nancy, was in a small fender bender one evening coming back from a clandestine meeting with another man. Did I know about it? Not at the time. But still, who did she call? Me. Crying and upset she reached out to me. Once again I was in bed and said, “I have work in the morning. Glad you’re OK. Talk later”

Two attempts at making a solid connection. Two attempts refused. What could I have done differently? The first attempt I could have explained myself better “I have work in the morning. I love that you continue to bring the wolf out in me, you’re offer is so tempting! Could we take a rain check for tomorrow evening? Nothing would make me happier than to service my woman”

Second attempt: “I have to work in the morning. Can the car be driven? Do you need a tow truck or a ride? I am so glad you weren’t hurt, darling. Please call me after you know more…love you”

Even though the second attempt sounds better, the correct thing would have been to go there. Accidents/deaths/sadness are somethings you share with a loved one to lessen the impact and get comfort from. And I failed both attempts at a loving connection.

The damage had been done and events were set into motion that ended our relationship. And they continued to pile on. It was easier to double down adding new reasons as well, than to back up and rethink it all. Just one moment in time, where if I had really listened, might have changed the dynamics of our relationship completely.

So Ceej, I know you’re curious and want to ask, if I could go back in time and change my actions to obtain a better outcome, would I?

Ceej: You are not only wise and fascinating Carlj, but also a mind reader?

Carlj: LOL. You’re funny Ceej. But no. Not a mind reader. To be sure, I would not change anything. It pains me to say that. The lessons learned are more important to me now that I understand them. Even if it took thirty years or more. This “turning point” was huge and not hidden from sight at the time and yet, I couldn’t see it much less understand it. Time teaches.

Ceej: Well, thank you for being here Carlj, that’s all the time we have on this blog, so join us next time for:

“the intensity of life”