Nope, nope, nope, wasn’t me that said that. When you Look at the title of the post, immediately anger at the person who wrote that wells up inside! Or not. Depends on the person. In reality however, a real company posted a banner outside their place of business with those words on it. A pizzeria in Ohio of all places. The owner said that under no circumstances was that meant to poke fun of handicapped or any group that has taken offense.  So, the woke crowd took action against them, as well as the un-woke crowd. The message above was an equal offender.

Shouldn’t any business seeking new employees be able to advertise what they’re looking for in a potential employee? Sure. Even if it’s potentially triggering? Of course. In fact, some of the fallout was hilarious such as:

“The main problem I see is this potentially lowers the available pool of prospective employees. By a lot.”

Which got me to thinking. How would you determine the applicant met your requirements of not being stupid? So, I came up with a few questions the pizzeria could ask, either with a written quiz or verbal one. Does this run a foul  of any federal hiring statutes or local equal opportunity laws? Would lawyers be able to mount a class action against them? It reminds me of the questions on some job applications I have filled out in the past, that I had no intention of answering. Like “what ethnicity are you?” with the only choices being Puerto Rican, Spanish, Danish and American Indian. I never liked answering any those type of questions. Call it personal thing of mine. The companies I liked got real answers, like “other” or “not listed” whereas the places I didn’t like after being there, got answers like “I recently left Jupiter because I was a minority Plutonian” or “Goonie”.

Here are a few of the questions I would add to a job application for the Pizza place: (please circle one)

  1. True or False: chocolate syrup is given to American cows to produce Chocolate Milk
  2. True or False: The four kings in a pack of cards all have mustaches.
  3. True or False: Fortune cookies were invented in the USA.
  4. True or False: New York is called the Big Orange
  5. True or False: Candy canes were first invented at the North Pole
  6. True or False: Albert is the name of the Batman’s butler
  7. True or False: Chinese is the official language in Canada

The above list is just a beginning. Probably, at least 25 or more questions would be required to weed out prospective job seekers. If the applicant answers at least 75% correct, they advance to the actual interview! If they answered TRUE to question 1, that could end up being a deciding factor. Or not. Job requirements for a pizza place? Beats me. Hours? Shifts? My best guess is you won’t be able to work from home.

Until next time